Rodeo Bruise

And there it was

a leather draped version

of a hot blooded bull.

Sitting in the middle

of an air filled red and blue mattress

like a doll that had been played with

way too many times.

I jumped up into

the makeshift saddle

with the struggle

of a fat lady trying

to get on a mechanical bull.

I grabbed the leather strap

and put my head down

determined to stay in

this electronic fight.

The attendant started the rocking

and I felt the hard mass push up

into me. I had no choice but to

fling my arm up and start rocking

in an S motion

to go with the flow.

The whole cow rotates from right

to left, trying to fling me off.

I am determined. I squeeze tight

but not too tight to lose focus.

I go on a few seconds like this

and look up thinking

Is this all it is?

The bull continues

its slow pace. It still

takes effort to hold tight.

Okay, I had enough.

It gets faster.

I squeeze more.

I say okay

that’s enough

but I was too quiet

I am holding myself

with just the strength

of my arm

The pain starts

it’s in my wrist

and then it feels like the bone

The bulls moves faster

and I lose control

But I’m not letting go.

and just before my

arm is about to snap

so it felt.

It stopped

and everything is quiet.

Even the people staring

at me behind the fence.

Next, I could feel the pain

throbbing beneath my skin.

I rode the mechanical bull!

Aches and Sickness

It starts with a kiss

or being in the same room

with an infected person.

When you are in love it is hard

not to both get sick

half the fun is helping

each other back to health.

It starts with an an itch

and an ache

A swollen lymph

or a subtle pain in the throat.

Lathargy begins to set in

and all the mind can focus on

is doing nothing.

Just lying in bed and closing your eyes

and wondering whether this is death.

over the counter syrups cover up the pain

For a few hours. Being sick is like a story,

there is a begin, middle, and end.

There is the denouement when you

Are sure you are going die

And you go sleep and wake-up

to find yourself feeling better than

when the sickness started.

Poetry for a While

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Sometimes you meet someone

who is just about everything

you ever wished for in a partner.

Just about is realistic as our imagination

leads us down roads that can put

our partners at a disadvantage.

This to me was where art was invented.

Loving someone is easy always at first.

As we learn more and more and repeat

ourselves, and get more comfortable,

it so where the fun begins.

The comfort of a long term relationship

allows for creativity and love expanding.

Every meal is a time to savor and make

life special together. Every word from

your life partner’s mouth is a chance

to know how to help them be happy.

And there strength and effort

to do make you happy can never be taken for granted.

We must love each other

no matter what. We must watch love

grow like life grows inside a woman’s

womb. This is life, discovering what is new

and finding the fantastic around corners

you would have never guessed were there.

I Want To

I want you.

I want to know what you are thinking.

I want to make sure that all sides of your thoughts are taken care of and feel

satisfied,but I know I alone I can not do that, this scares me. I can never

crawl inside you and look around. It is not possible. I have found some

people can not even express what they are thinking, or do not want to.

It is easier if we just do our own thing and never really get deeper than

just the outside. This bothers me, but it is the only way to survive.

When I learn too much, then I learn there is nothing much more to learn.

Then it is just looking for distractions and the next thing to laugh about

or cry about. Thank god for making money, because what else would we

do with ourselves. What else do we have, but to love, spend money, be clean.

The lucky few got through. Every generation has a lucky few.

I wan to reach out to you. I want to hold your hand when the pain gets too

deep. I wish you would do the same for me. We are all responsible for

our own pain, but it helps to be helped by a subtle hand to hold. I can’t

listen to the constant chatter anymore. I here  alot of the same with just

a slightly different message. It is all we have left. Jump on and jump off

that is our choice. Your eyes were flashing the other day. I though they

were so handsome. You make me happy when you are happy. I hate to see

you hurt. I know though the fight and the pain makes you feel strong, makes

you shake back to reality so you can go on in the mundane routine. It is all

okay, I see no point in being a threat. My ego is a passing cloud that will win

in death so I take comfort in the surroundings of life as it unfolds.

Not Good Enough

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It is so easy to feel not good enough,

whether it is my own comparison to other people’s work, lives, or possesions

or because someone has made a comment that I need to excercise or

they tell me how I could be happy if I worked a 9 to 5 job that I hate.

It is a spirit and a hope pushing those feelings away

to make room for the new that I want to feel,

that brand new discovery of something I like.

I reach out to those who feel inclined to insult me to help me.

I try to just go to them to support them in their endeavors.

It is a bit awkward when I do yoga everyday and walk, so I guess

they are looking for someone a bit more perfect than me.

I feel like they think to themselves, why am I not getting what I want from her.

A few might think about what might insults a woman and there is the answer.

They never think maybe there are things I could insult them,

but I don’t, because it might make them feel not good enough.

My life is a momentary flash on this small earth in this great galaxy.

I want to be happy and healthy and a little fat is not what anyone

will remember in the end.

You may be traveling to get somewhere and have to forgo some things

in order to reach your destination for your next great adventure.

Some people will not know how to help you for sure and in the process

forget their heart. Do not ever let anyone’s momentary dementia deter you

from the love you want to be.

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